In Old D.C., where law is king
You’ve got less votes? Here’s what they say

When the election is won and the counting is done
There’s a loser

When you’re claiming abuse and the court says, “Not true!”
You’re that loser

It’s a crime, all the time, hearing whine after whine
Pathetic, fella

Don’t matter what you say, when you bray, every day
Like the South antebella’

When your lackeys can’t tell where’s Four Seasons Hotel
That’s on Rudy

When a commission sublime lays out all of your crimes
That’s their duty

A perp walk from the scene won’t be much of a dream, eh, padrone?
Oh, free dumb isn’t free, e’en in Old D.C.
You’re a moron!

I used to say

When you are down by the sea
and an eel bites your knee
that’s a moray…

I think I first saw that in a "B.C." comic strip by Jonny Hart.

"When an eel lunges out / And bites off your snout / That's a moray!"